Can I just say, family sucks? I mean, if you have a good family, be thankful. If you aren’t so fortunate, you’re screwed because you are stuck putting up with their shit over and over again. And as much as you may want to cut them from your life, it never works out.
A wise friend posted recently on her Facebook status “I’ve finally realized that cutting people from my life does not mean I hate them, it means I respect myself.”
A letter to a few people in my life:
I love you and wish nothing but the best for you. However, I need to cut you from my lie. I have my own life and issues to face and no longer wish to hear about your petty shit. The world does not revolve around you.
I realize that you will never change and never see the fault in your ways, and while I really want to help you, I have finally accepted that you are beyond help. The only person I can fix is me. So that is who I choose to help.
Monkey turned 1 on saturday. We had a big bash for him (or maybe it was more for us – tee hee). It was hot as hell outside, we had a bouncy castle for the kids and a keg for the adults 
Highlights – Monkey did great with the cake
Monkey enjoying his cake
Auntie RoRo drank humingbird juice… yuck…
I visited my dad in the hospital yesterday. He looked much better than expected. His lips were swolen from the sores, but they were healing.
The hardest part about this is that my dad is so depressed. It’s not a lot of fun seeing your father cry. I really can’t believe how I managed to hold it together that day… but I guess I’ll pay for it after the fact with some random crying here and there.
I drove into work this morning and I found myself crying. I don’t know why, I don’t know what triggered the tears.
Almost a year ago, my little monkey was born. He was perfect in every way, and to this day his is the best baby. He’ll brighten your day with his smiles and it’s hard to ever be upset in his presence – looking at him and watching him in all his bliss wipes all those bad feelings away.
How could these kids not make you smile?
But he can’t be up with me at all hours of the day, so there are times when I am without that drug to keep me from feeling down. I can’t look at myself in the mirror to see that baby fat that refuses to go away; I can’t watch any tv because I’m sure to find a show or commercial to put me in tears.
When I was probably 5 months pregnant, I KNEW something was wrong with me. Yes, pregnancy can be rough, it can be emotional… and with a 3 year old at home who’s coming into her own… and the struggles of a marriage… so it’s not like it was a surprise to me that I was so unhappy. I seeked the advice of my doctor and got prescribed some anti-depressants. Anti-partum depression is what he called it.
I didn’t stay on them longer than a month – I was one of those pregnant women who hating taking any kind of drugs, even tylenol, while the baby was inside of me. It said right on the material that came with the drugs that any use of these could cause dependency for the newborn – yeah, I didn’t want that…
So Monkey came, and things didn’t get a whole lot better, so I decided to go back on the anti-depressants. I took them for a while, but then I’d forget or skip a few doses. Hubby would notice and make comments – I’d have major highs and major lows. I’d start crying for no apparent reason. Even I had no idea why I was crying. I’d lay in my room, huddled in a ball while I cried for hours, isolating myself from my family.
So now, Monkey will turn one in a few weeks and I still struggle with these emotions. When will I get better? How will I know?
What do you say to someone you love, who is hundreds of miles away, and is stricken by cancer?
Have I failed as a daughter?
Life gets busy, people forget to do things that they should do. It’s easy to get caught up in life and forget about important (but maybe distant) things.
I called my mother last night. It’s the first time I’ve called her since they both started chemo. And she sounded horrible. I mean, really bad. She said she has some virus and she was waiting to get a prescription for it. Something about high white cell count. My dad I guess was the opposite with a low white cell count. And the chemo had caused him to get canker sores all over his mouth and throat, so he was also pretty miserable.
I wish I was closer to her – the 2 hours that seperate us make it hard for me to be there for her. I mean, I could call more, but I don’t feel like that is enough. My sisters and I all hate that she and my dad are up there, battling cancer together(alone) with the help of their other (old and probably not the healthiest) friends. But what are we to do?
I have no idea how serious this all is… I guess I should find that out before time starts ticking away and i don’t have anymore time to spend with them. 
My co-worker has started going to this church, Kensington Community church. She’s not a religious person, so it was a bit surprising. Anyway, she really likes it and asked me to come with her yesterday. I have family and other friends that are members there, so it wasn’t the first time I had heard about it. It’s supposed to be less like church, more like a rock concert. I actually had wanted to go for sometime, even before she attended, but I guess I was too chicken. I am not really a religious person. Or rather, I guess the catholic church, how I was raised, didn’t really fit me.
So I went, and was pleasantly surprised. It was really like a concert. I was amazed by the details they put into the show, there was really great lighting as well as a music video that had to be done by them. It was actually pretty crazy. The musicians were so talented. The speaker (I don’t know if I should call him a pastor or what) was entertaining. I found that I both laughed and fought back tears in the same sitting.
So I guess going to church was the right thing for me. I think I learned some things I need to do for me and hopefully I can bring hubby with me next week…
M, who is now 11 months old, knows how to crawl up the stairs. he’s not walking, but seriously, this sucks…
Am I that different that none of my friends with kids have the same ‘longing’ for friendship? Or is it that I’m just more ‘mature’ in my age of parenting?
I’m a mother of two. I guess I’m young too (not yet 30) but I’m mature for my years and experience. I’m the youngest of 5 girls, and prior to having my daughter 4 years ago, I already had 12 nieces and nephews. On top of that, my mother ran a day care out of her home for the first 20 years of my life. I was no stranger to children.
When my daughter was born, we were pretty relaxed with the way we raised her.
As a result, we had a pretty easy time with her as a baby. She was healthy, never EVER sick. I thought, “you know what? we are good parents!”
We have friends who aren’t as relaxed. Whose kids have ear infections all the time, fevers every month, who have bad manners, who don’t sleep in their own beds EVER.
Anyway, I guess I’m going on a tangent trying to defend us… back to the point…
Almost every weekend, as we struggle to find something kid friendly to do or find a babysitter, I tell myself “We need to find another couple with kids that has the same take on child rearing and or same morals as we do.” Why is that so hard to do? How does one POSSIBLY find another family like that? Do they have a Match.com for that kind of thing? Heres what my add could suggest:
Young family of four seeking another young family for friendship. Mom and Dad should like to have fun but still keep their childrens best interests at hand. Should be flexible and open to playdates at either house and or bonfires (cheap entertainment) as well as possibility of vacationing together. Overprotective or anal parents need not respond, as we are looking for an experienced and relaxed couple.
Has anyone had success meeting other families? My sister said that she met some once her daughter started school. Is it crazy of me to look for something like this?
We had our usually family birthday party yesterday – basically since there are 5 of us siblings, each with at least 2 children, we coordinate birthdays among the kids. So yesterday we celebrated the July birthdays. It was a long day to say the least, but we got some good pictures out of it!
All the kids
