Aug
rough day today. Got a new haircut last night – it’s pretty short so of course I was struggling this morning as I didn’t know exactly what to do with it.
Then, as I was preparing my coffee for the drive to work, I went to grab the milk from the fridge. As I was closing the door, I didn’t notice my almost one year old was nearly in the fridge, so the door sort of got closed on his head – he was not a happy camper. Jesus, when I went to approach the fridge, I swear he was accross the room! I didn’t know I’d have to look down before I closed it… I felt horrible.
After dropping the kids off at nana’s, I was driving behind a yellow Lamborghini. As this is not a usual occurance, I called my husband to discuss. One thing about the Lamborghini, it had one of those plastic license plate ‘frames’, an advertisement for the dealer. I asked hubby his opinion, but if I owned a yellow Lamborghini, I’d have taken that frame before I left the lot. It’s almost as bad as having a bumper sticker if you ask me. (My judgement is purely because it was a Lamborghini. We aren’t talking about a minivan here.)
Driving on the expressway, I see yet ANOTHER fancy car – this time a Ferrari and I think – whoa, how weird is this. Then I remember that this weekend is the all-too-famous Woodward Dream cruise. From those of you not from the area, the Woodward Dream Cruise is an event (which is supposed to be like 2 or 3 days but turns into two weeks each year) where owners of classic cars drive up and down a few mile stretch of Woodward Avenue, usually at the speed of 25 max (mostly it’s bumper to bumper with ’69 mustangs riding behind ’99 mustangs riding behind some dipshit kid with a pimped out neon). I’ve never understood the concept, but then again the thought of a classic car does not make me wet.
Anyway, seeing this Ferrari reminded me of the event this weekend, but I still had the urge to call hubby yet again to tell him about it.
Two weeks ago I got a new Ford Fusion. It’s got that Sync technology in it. With the push of a button or two, I can tell my car to play the Dixie Chicks or call my hubby.
I pressed the button and said very clearly (or so I thought) “Call Hubby Cell”. After a breif second, the car responds, “say one to call hubby work. say two to call yada yada yada. say three to call blah blah blah.” Now, I only just called him about 10 or 15 minutes prior. I’m not saying it any differently than before, so I’m a little frustrated. Maybe I’ll try it again. I press the button again and wait for my turn to speak the command. “Call Hubby Cell”. Again, the car responds “say one to call hubby work. say two to call yada yada yada. say three to call blah blah blah.”. WTF. Now I’m pissed. But, I try yet again, only to recieve the exact same response.
“you mother fucking bitch, you piece of shit car, fuck you, you stupid whore.”
Yes, I was in a war of words, not just any words – expletives, fighting with my car.
I never was able to call him again this morning… The car is safe though. No one was hurt.
Maybe I’ll apologize to her later for losing my cool.
